Shift to a Different Life!!

 I know this post is a little too late to mark my beginning at college, since it has been already two months there.  My life had a complete twist lately which I never thought would ever happen. My final board marks weren't excellent due to random reasons which I would like to forget. I did pretty ok (better than school exam) in the entrance exams. I was allotted in Mohandas College of Engineering and Technology, which is a good private college, but I wasn't very happy about it. But I got to accept the fate which I bought myself. I went there for a week. We had orientation classes throughout the week and aptitude tests on each subject daily. Within a week, i made a lot of friends there. The college is in Nedumangad, which is almost one and a half hour travel via my college bus. Days were tiresome , still I enjoyed the orientation stuff. But I always had regrets in my mind because this was never my destination and I was in the wrong place, and the worst feeling was the thought that everything could have been much better if I din't commit any of the mistakes I did last year.

So the last day of the week, mother came to pick me up from the bus stop. She told please dont get excited and told me that there has been a call for further allotment of candidates in Sree Chitra Thirunal College of Engineering. I was totally surprised. I just wanted it so much. I wanted an escape from here. Hopefully I got there in my preferred branch 'Computer Science and Engineering'. Those days, I was the happiest person in the world because whatever happened was totally out of luck. Finally everything felt right. Very happy about it. It was like someone had forgiven me for the stupid things I did in 12th.

So first day in college.. I went with my mother. It was inauguration day for freshers. Next day, regular classes started. Straight to studies. In between our class got completely shuffled due to further allotments, some new faces, some friends gone.. Finally R12 , our batch of 63, we got the finalised roll records. I just love our class. Everyone are so welcoming. There's a positive air about everything and everyone.

Within two weeks of our entry, one week went off with a strike by college Sfi unit. It was against an illegal appointment of a lab superintendent. Anyways those days were cool! One complete week , and no classes! SCT = Freedom. Thats the correct word. We can just do our own thing. I am lucky to be here.
Then, one other news was that I contested as class representative for Sfi and lost by 2 votes :( yaa.. but we won the College Union, so atleast happy about it. But it was an experience contesting, meaning I got a lot of friends, came to know many seniors and I got a feeling I'm part of something, involved even now, a voice.. So I am leaving now making a desicion to weekly scribble something here, heart-broken by my dull looking blog with my 'once-in-a-year' posts!!

Repercussions..

                                             

It’s the vacation after 12th, my engineering entrance exams are over. These days all I want to do is to get engaged into something and forget myself into it. I just want to be involved all the time. Actually, it’s a kind of an escapism from a lot of things going through my mind otherwise. My recent obsession is movies. I now watch at least two movies a day, mostly random ones. Then, reading random books. Recently finished a book, ‘Baumgartner’s Bombay’- Anita Desai,  a good one actually.

What’s engulfing me all the time is the uncertainty I have about where I am going to be perhaps after 3 months, I don’t know what I will be studying, doing, thinking, whether I will be happy or will anyone or anything would make me so.  And reading this, please don’t think I’m in any doomed situation, dull with no hope etc.. It’s just some kind of anxiety and hate about a lot of things. A lot of things pop up in my mind without my permission. I get angry, irritated all the time thinking about the conservative life everyone is bound to. If people try to think out of the box, then they just can’t belong to mainstream. And of course, that is the most difficult thing – ‘belonging’.

Looking back, there are a lot of things that happened to me in these 18 years. My school, St.mary’s, is of course a major part. Right now, I can’t pass the usual dialogues like, “Yeah, it made me who I am” and stuff like that. The reality is that it hasn’t made me, but helped me to retain myself, not only me but also I think it’s the same for everyone else too. I just miss the whole atmosphere. There’s something about it which I can never forget, the kind of acceptance I had which later I think I almost broke, sadly. Just one week ago, I felt like never going back to it again, but right now I do wanna go back, which of course is technically impossible. I want to go back there, see all my friends again, walk with them, up and down the small corridors we had. Things were a lot strict but after all, everything turns out to be quite wonderful.

I have some kind of feeling like I haven’t been a perfect student last year, which I always longed to be in eyes of my teachers and the principal. That was one of my personal satisfactions but last year, I broke it, not quite intentionally though. I feel like I couldn’t get the time and opportunity and most importantly, the mental state to contribute much as a head girl. First few months were good but later, willingly or not, priorities were shifted. I just want to go there and say a really nice goodbye to everyone. I just love everyone. Things could have been a lot better. I could have made it better.

What I am trying to do now is to live in the present. Either I will be dwelling about the past or building hopes, worrying, dreaming, or planning, and again planning, and the planning never ends. But in the end, plans are pretty good for me too, it’s a kind of a trigger in my case, because I am too lazy to work certain things out at times.

After a Pretty Long Time..

 Its been an year since i posted here.. I had no time to think about it.. Last time it was 'first year in higher secondary' and now its 'first year over!!'.. It all went so fast than i could imagine. I still feel like I wrote the 10th exam just a few days ago!. One year went like the blink of an eye. I know I was writing here before about the challenges and dreams and ... such and such.. and its still on with full swing. Last year was good for me. It was... satisfying.

I just went through all my old articles that I have posted here since my 8th standard , small things were so exciting for me.. all those small trips, vacation, school life..so and so..,  and i am really surprised by the way i changed all through. I really enjoy reading them now because i like that feel of my innocence then which i understood only now, the famous Innocence of Childhood!.. I have read and heard that when we grow up normally our perceptions about everything change, our approaches, our visions, the perspective by which we see things..everything has a big change. I have really understood it and experienced it now. But I know it isn't over yet.. more change is on its way, but i am happy that most of them turns out to be positive.. 'Learning from Experiences'.. and I am totally in love with the word CHANGE.

Now its vacation LITERALLY, but really busy days. Lot to do. Preperation for next year and completing pending things.. and related stuff.. Its gonna be tough days coming ahead.. So i'm not gonna be here for a couple of months from now. In between I read some books. I had made a review here before about  The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It was so inspiring and I was tempted to read more of his books. I read his Veronika Decides to Die and the Aleph. Very deep books.. not everyone would find it very interesting.. i'm sure about that.! Little swept away by them.  But I think next time I am gonna pick a different book of totally different style... and that definitely is gonna happen only after one year. !

The Other Side..

What does Gaddafi's death mean for Africa?

shared from BBC

First Year in Higher Secondary

Its been like 6 months since I last wrote here... I was too busy with school (and that doesn't mean I'm not busy now!). Its been really tough this year to keep up with studies but I believe I'm doing good so far. Seriously speaking, this seems to be my best year in school. Everything is going just great.

 I was a little off mood in the first month...not only me, all my friends too was in same condition. We couldn't just accept the fact that we cant be in 10th anymore... We've been together in same class for like 10 years, and most of 'em split up now to different schools for different reasons.. We were really missing the old class, the old atmosphere and many other elements which we wont get back.. Then slowly, everyone became good friends and now we are ok with it..

 I'm in the Computer-Maths ( no biology!) Group as I've mentioned earlier.We've been brain-washed in 10th by our senior batches that higher secondary is like HeLL coming to earth. Anyways for me, it has been more comfortable than last year. Maybe, its because I'm working more now. Health conditions weren't goin balanced earlier , but now I learned to manage it. I'm much more systematic and everything is going planned now.. not because I wanted it like that but because there is no other way. The syllabus is like a vast ocean, I've to survive.. I don't want to compromise on my dreams.

 Right now, we're busy with Youth Festival.. The last time I wrote about it here was during when I was in 9th.. Anyways, it hasn't been much exciting this year like before. But, anyways its our last chance to be in a school Youth Festival.. So, I don't want to miss it..

By the way, one of my blog posts was published in The Hindu :).. Thanks Hindu for considering it.

My Creation.. Track Follower Robot (Arduino)

Vacation Robotics Camp

   Its the vacation after X Standard now... We didn't get the result yet (curse CBSE!). I am trying to utilize this vacation to the very best. I had plans of going for Computer class for studying C++. I'm going to need it for next year because I'm opting for Comp-Maths Group (English,Physics, Chemistry, Maths, Computer). Me and my father were searching for a good place to go for class. Finally, we decided  to go to Keltron Education Centre. We got to see another notice about an electronics and robotics class there. My plan is to go for engineering in future. So, I decided to try out this course.  I wanted to know if I have a real aptitude towards it. That was the objective.

    

I'm really happy now.  This was definitely a good option. They taught us the basics of electronics. I didn't had much knowledge about the various devices because I'm in CBSE Syllabus( which I understood later on). I think the State Govt's Teaching syllabus is way better than ours. There is no room for us to think and know more. The first classes were about the basic equipment used in electronic devices and their principles.We had a small introduction about C - programming too. I think they were trying to give us a logical understanding regarding its application and the basic procedures involved. We're using an Open Source electronic prototyping platform (Arduino board). We did some basic circuits with LED and programmed it. Then, we started robotics, had an intro about its kinds, applications, and functions.  Its almost one month since it started and its going to end within a week. T Our final competitive project is to make a line follower robot. I am trying my best to do it well... I will tell about in my next post, have to concentrate more.. 

Life with the goats - Aadujeevitham

"നാം അനുഭവിക്കാത്ത ജീവിതങ്ങളെല്ലാം നമുക്ക് വെറും കെട്ടുകഥകള്‍ മാത്രമാണ്. "

"The stories of life we hear which we don't experience is just tall stories for us"
... but the reality is different.

I had plans of coming back to my past reading habits, and I got this book "Aadujeevitham" written by Benyamin. (Its in malayalam language - my mother tongue) . What a book to start with! It takes you away and steals your heart. It brings the real 'human being' in you. The theme is life in desert.

In India, especially in my state , Kerala, a lot of people go to the Middle-East for jobs. 'Jobs' here does not mean the high-profile professional jobs, but working as slaves because there is no other way for living. Surviving in an orthodox country for us 'keralites' is very difficult because unlike here, the rules are harsh..not liberal. 

In this story,  a person in Kerala living in a typical Kerala family is going to Middle -east. He is picked up by an Arabi person. He is taken to a deserted place, where he is made to work as a shepherd. The sufferings he face are very hard to believe.

In dire straits

I am sure that many people are stuck there even this moment waiting for someone to rescue them. The book gives you a clear picture of the maximum extent to which a human can be exploited. He has to live among the goats, as a goat... and at times , we feel that the goats have a better life than him.. We will get a deeper meaning of water, food, etc and the book will teach us how important they are and the huge role which they play in our lives. You may not be able to grasp the full extent of having water and food  because all we know is that without water and food we will die, but we haven't experienced their utter scarcity.. The book tells how much simple or uncertain is human life when exposed to the violence of nature or say, the violence of his own species. He is lost without any help, all alone in the vast desert...

While reading the book, I have even wondered how can people behave like they have no heart. The 'arbabs' who have held this slave treats him so badly even worse than an animal. He is not given the position of a human being. I had deep thoughts of the thousands of people from families around me facing the same fate at this very moment. They go for a job in the middle-east with a hope of earning something by getting daily wages by doing difficult jobs , because this is their last hope of saving their poor family. Their dreams are shattered very soon and they vanish for ever...

Another thing I saw in this story is that the person's hope never fades.. He is a strong believer of Allah and prays to God for helping him. There is this constant hope in him that God will help him surely.. I don't know whether its God who have helped him in the final place, but I'm sure that it is the hope (that God is there for him) in him that helped him survive all this horrible conditions...

This book is definitely in the 'must-read' category..

So, a large session of my academic life have come to an end...I am looking forward for more challenges... I am in the Higher Secondary Category now.. Now its summer vacation and I'm concentrating on my interests.. going for electronics classes now...and more reading on the way...

Lines from my History Text...

I thought I must post this here...

". . . rarely given such permission When they heard of the Non-Cooperation Movement, thousands of workers defied the autorities and headed home. They believed that Gandhi Raj was coming and everyone would be given land in their own villages, They, however, never reached their destination. Stranded on the way by a railway and streamer strike, they were caught by the police and brutally beaten up.

The visions of these movements were not defined by the Congress programme. They interpreted the term Swaraj in their own ways,, imagining it to be a time when all sufferings and all troubles would be over. Yet, when the tribals chanted Gandhiji's name and raised slogans demanding 'Swatantra Bharat (Independent India)' , they were also emotionally relating to an all-India agitation. When they acted in the name of Mahatma Gandhi, or linked thier movement to that of the Congress, they were identifying with a movement which went beyond the limits of thier immediate locality. . . "

NATIONALISM IN INDIA,

'INDIA AND THE CONTEMPORARY WORLD - II',

'TEXTBOOK IN HISTORY FOR CLASS X'

These were the lines that struck me deeply...I am really going to miss studyin history and politics from next year... because I'm opting for science...

A Fable About Following Your Dream

THE ALCHEMIST by 'Paul Coelho' --- A Review

" Its the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting"

I am largely inspired now by this book called 'The Alchemist'. Its a great story. Its all about following your heart.

--

Every few decades a book is publishes that changes the lives of the readers forever. This book by Paul Coelho is one of them. It is a 'modern classic' actually. It is the magical story of Santiago, an Andalusian shepherd boy who yearns to travel in search of a worldly treasure as extravagant as any ever found. From his home in Spain he journeys to the markets of Tangiers and into the Egyptian Desert, where a fateful encounter with the alchemist awaits him. This story teaches us, as only a few can, about the essential wisdom of listening to our hearts, learning to read the omens strewn along life's path and above all following your dreams.

--

I liked the book very much. It is truly a book which can change ones outlook about their life. It contains so many inspiring messages that you would like to 'bookmark' in your mind forever. The story has an excellent ending that comes unexpected. The books tell about various spiritual concepts like 'Language of the World'.

Now that I've read this wonderful story, I've decided to follow my heart always because...

" When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it."

...

It gives me hope and puts a smile on my face...

ZZZzzzz....'Summer 2010' ? --- tooo boring! ZZZzzzz....

SUMMER'S DOIN ITS JOB! CANT BEAR THE HEAT!

Now I am waiting for my school to re-open... Seriously, missing it very much. Missing all the 'study stuff', bookzz, and of course, all my best friends there. Now all I am doing is sitting simply at home. Sometimes, browsing nett, then, sometimes, reading (finding more bookzz, read everything here), and most of the time, sleeping...

Vishu was not so great this year... I have noticed big changes in me. Anywayz theres one thing I understood well this vacation and that is 'myself'. Everyone says teenage is a crucial time for an individual's future. Its so very true. As a teenager, the best thing to do is be 'yourself'. Dont allow other things to influence you. I have also understood that if you have a career ambition or dream or something like that in your life, then, make your mind according to it. That will help you a lot. (that helped me a lot when i was so 'scattered')... But, the biggest problem is understanding my mom and dad. But I am now trying hard to understand them, and listen to them. Sometimes, even if you don't like their 'advising', it influences you in your deep heart. My mom and dad are very good in that. They never push me to do things, but I will do it and follow them anywayzz because advices reach deep inside.

I've got the new books for my 10th standard. Its the same continuation of 9th. Seems easy at first look. I have decided that no tuition until 11th Standard because my mom 'n dad have promised to help in my studies this time. Until last year, I was studying on my own (still, managed it well). This time I have decided to work hard and concentrate more on studies, and I would truly work on it!

So, on a 'DETERMINED' mood...

Exams Over! We were the 'experiment batch' for the new system of exams and questions.. and everything did really go well. I like this new 'summative and formative assessments'. The exam is like almost an adventure now dealing all the external questions. This academic year went well but I've seen the fact that I must try harder on my studies because next year I'm in the BIG 10th standard. We dont have CBSE Board Exams and it is going to be a 'grade' evaluation but still next year is very important to me. I had also made plans...
But now, School's being closed! and its Vacation -- OBJECTIVE - ENJOY MAX.

Back here after a long time...

I was not in a mood to write here all these days....was busy with school...
ok let me start...I am now busy with my 9th std annual examinations. The question papers are of new format... Till now our own teachers used to put our question papers but now its from the central board of secondary education... I think it would be easy. We are the first batch writing such formats...In here, 1oth graders were given this kind of format, and 10th grade exams are considered the greatest thing...passing the 10th grade was a major headache for all the students, so, the govt. decided to modify the system and we have the major board exams only in 12th grade...
This year went great, both in studies and all other activities. School was great this year, with all my dearest friends, it was great fun... I had a wonderful time... Next year I'm goin to concentrate more in my studies...there was lil problem with it this year because i was busy with other activities...gotta study well for this exams also...

Youth festival Over!

Thank God! The Youth Festival is finally over. Our school finished fourth. We got third position for margam kali. My sister is the happiest person in the world now. She got first prize for English Elocution. It’s her first time in such a platform, and she really made it.

We didn't think that we will get anything for Margam kali because all the other schools' participants were well trained even before weeks by special teachers. We were all tired by the end of that day. We reached back home at about11 in the night. I had Group dance the next day. That day was the worst day in my life. It was about 10 in the night when we performed on stage. It was very tiresome. We didn't get any prize. I am trying to forget it. I had made a decision not to be in Group Dance anymore.

Anyway, the last day was awesome; we didn't had any items that day. We went just for receiving the prizes. I enjoyed a lot. My friends were all there.

Our mid-term examinations are starting the next week and I haven't even opened the books. I wish I could get at least 85% for the exams. It is very sad if I didn't score good marks. Everyone will say that its all because I participated in the youth festival. But, actually, that is the truth.
By the way,

HAPPY DIWALI !!

Youth Festival is About to Start

The youth festival is starting in a week and we are busy practicing our items. I don't

know how I managed to study the group dance. It is an awful song. Also, the Margam

Kali lyrics is very hard but it is the same one that I have sang last year. I am the class leader now (I hate it).I am waiting for a chance to get rid of it. Anyway, according to the attitude of our class, no class monitor could last more than one month. By then, u will be fired for some stupid reason.

( I don't like people who don't tell openly whats in their minds. Thats the major problem I'm facing now...)

I am tired of practicing group dance now. I am sick of hearing that horrible song. What can we do? It is the typical song for this purpose. I am not feeling so well since last three days. I hate school now, The thing is that our teacher is not allowing friends to sit together. She has decided to change our positions. I feel like sleeping all the time in class. Because of the rehearsals, I am not able to attend certain classes, especially, Chemistry and Economics. I have not yet completed any of my records, I don't know what is going to happen. As the class monitor, I don't know even how many students have submitted it and those who haven't. If anything get lost, then everything will be on my head. The thing is that i don't have any time because of the rehearsals . Everything is messed up on my mind. What should I do?

Mid-term test over

I am now in a relaxed mood as our mid-term examinations are over. The evaluation and questions asked are different from last year. There is a change in evaluation for science especially . Now, we have to draw all those diagrams in Biology, and use only Equ of Motion in Physics. For Chemistry, it is allright 'cause I had full marks. I have only 88%. I was going to make it 90 but suddenly the principal decided to make Computer a grade subject. I had 100% in computer. That might have changed my entire percentage. It is really hard to get altleast an 80 percentage in English ( or make it 70). Teachers are very strict . They will reduce lot of marks even if the mistake is minute. I am determined to get atleast a 93% inthe terminal exams. It is really difficult to score but I will try my best. I have planned my studying and I am very confident . By the way, my younger sister, Gowri, had 99% for the Mid-Term exam. She is now in 4th standard.

I am there in Group Dance and Margam Kali in the CBSE Youth Festival. I am also there in Thiruvathira competiton, i.e, school house competitions. I saw our last year's Margam Kali perfomance. There were only four teams in it and we got the 4th Prize. Actually, after watching the video, I was surprised we even got the 4th prize (horrible!). I am praying to God to make Margam Kali and Group Dance on two different days. It is so tiresome if both are on the same day. We will have no time to enjoy. Let's see...

School Re-opened!

I am sorry I was not able to keep connected all these days because there was a problem in our net connection. It is already now...

OK, My school Reopened. It is not much of a bad news because I love school now! The entire thing is completely different from last year... Even before one month, our class teacher ressigned from the job because she got a govenment job elsewhere. This is a common practice in our class all the academic years. Now, teachers consider it lucky if they get our class. I am in the Yorkshire House and my sister is in Glamorgan. (You must be wondering why such names for houses, that is, even after more than 50 years, some schools' houses or teams are named after British Streets! A thing to be certainly ashamed of!) Last year, I was in the Science Club. Usually, science clubs are organised in Saturdays, and also all the programmes and competitions in the school are conducted on Saturdays. I am there in most of the programmes and house competitons, so, I was not able to attend the science club. In addition to that, science clubs are there only on Ist saturdays... So, I decided to join the Social Service and Nature Club this year. The main reason is that all my friends are there. But now I am fed up, because it is a field that I have no interest. I am trying my best to be back in the Science Club. There is a Science Exhibition that is to be conducted on August. The topic is anything related to the use of SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY FOR HUMAN SUSTAINABILITY. I've already thought of some ideas. Do help me if you have any...Our Mid-Term examinations are starting next week. Actually, for me, nineth standard is way better than eight in the case of studies...

In Varkala

My native place, cherunniyoor, is near Varkala. Varkala is one of the attractive places in Kerala. The most noted is the Beach at Papanasham and the cliff along it. It is a must-go place for Keralites or anybody. The Beach at Papanasham is considered very sacred. Actually, the word 'papanasham' means 'destruction of sins' and it is believed that taking a bath at this Beach destroys all our sins. So.., we had a bath. But our intention was 'enjoying' the sea. We had a great time there. We also went to the famous Kulamuttam Backwaters. It is an isolated place with little man-made structures. The sunset there was very beautiful. I have never seen the sun this much reddish. My aunt's friend's house is near this place. So, we also had a visit over there and had our meals there. That house is a good example of the Keralite Christian homes in old times (maybe even now). Our next soothing visit was on the famous Kappil backwaters. In there, Actually, along one side of the road is the arabian sea and the alomg the other side is the beautiful backwaters. We stayed at Cherunniyoor for almost 15 days and now I am back at home. My cousin is also with me here. We are having great fun. One month holidays isover,yet another one month is there for the shool to reopen. Now, I want to get engaged in some useful things for the coming academic year because I have a lot of expectation from me next year...

Vishu at Cherunniyoor!

We had our vishu celebrations in my native palce at cherunniyor, varkala. For you, I am just introducing this festival- this is celebrated extensively in the state of Kerala in South India. The festival marks the first day of Malayalam Year and falls in the month of Medam(April – May). Vishu follows the sidereal vernal equinox and generally falls on April 14 of the Gregorian year. This occasion signifies the Sun's transit to the zodiac - Mesha Raasi (first zodiac sign) as per Indian astrological calculations. The word "Vishu" in Sanskrit means "equal". Therefore Vishu is more probably denoting one of the equinox days. Vishu is also considered as the harvest festival of Kerala and thus the importance of this day to all Malayalees. The festival is marked with offerings to the divine called Vishukkani. The offerings consist of a ritual arrangement in the puja room of auspicious articles like raw rice, fresh linen, golden cucumber, betel leaves, arecanut, metal mirror, the yellow flowers konna (Cassia fistula), and a holy text and coins, in a bell metal vessel called uruli. A lighted bell metal lamp called nilavilakku is also placed alongside. This arrangement is completed the previous night.

For us, kids, the most part is the vishukkaineettam and the vishukani. Vishukkaineetam is the money given by the elders to the kids. On the day of Vishu, the custom is to wake up at dawn and go to the puja room with the eyes closed so that the Vishukkani is the first sight of the new season but my Vishukani was my father and then only I saw the traditional Vishukani. All these years, I have been seeing the vishu kani in the home in my native place . It is really a wonderful experience. We went to the Varkala Janardhanswamy Temple. Also, we had sometime in the Papanasham Beach. During Vishu, its also celebration time for the media nd channels. They are trying their best to keep the viewers in front of the Television. Very interesting vishu related programmes and new films are broadcasted on this day. I, myself saw two films. Then it was time for us to go home. Most Probably, next trip will be to the Poovar Beach, then again to Cherunniyoor. By the way, I forgot to remind you that I have passed the exams. Hurray!